7 Steps Towards Your Dream. Psychology of Happiness. PART 1

“… She raised her head, looked into his deep blue eyes shining with love, and whispered shyly, ‘Are you really?...’ ‘Hell, yeah! I love you! You are the only one for me, my soul-mate… I’ve been looking for you all my life!’ he said passionately and embraced her. She thought suddenly, ‘God, what if on that rainy day I walked down a different street? What if my shoelace didn’t get untied and I didn’t have to bend? What if he didn’t run into me? The only love of my life would have passed me by and I would never be happy!”

The old maid wiped away her tears and closed the book in a bright red cover. She had to water her cactus, feed the cat and then have some tea in front of the TV set while watching another episode of Passions Under Papaya and Passion Fruit. “And I probably will never experience such love in my life. Perhaps, my soul-mate and I missed each other,” she thought. “Plus my age, it’s not like I can hope for something. I turn thirty two in a month…”

The same moment, a forty-five year old mother and wife, sobbing and sniveling, was finishing reading the same passage of the same novel, complaining to herself bitterly, “If only I had made the right choice a quarter of century ago! I’d have the true love in my life. And now, well, I can nothing but put up with my blockhead. Nobody needs you now, old cow…”

Don’t worry. Nobody’s going to make you read weepy girlish stories. These are typical mistakes concerning the so called “happiness in love life.” There are a bunch of wrong ideas which have destroyed a lot of lives in both dime novels and serious quality ones, and, what’s even worse, our heads.

There is a piece of good news though. It’s never too late to change your life and find happiness, whether you are an old maid, a tired housewife with a hateful husband, or a shy bachelor confident that out there there is your soul-mate looking for you. It can help everyone who has problems in love life, including you, dear reader. Actually, methods suggested in positive psychology are good not only for love life, but also for other spheres of life. So, what methods are these?

PSYCHOLOGY OF HAPPINESS

Many people dislike psychologists, psychotherapists and psychiatrists, and think there is no difference between them. Why would they treat healthy people? In some sense, these fears are justified. Classical psychology mostly deals with people’s problems and problem people or, in other words, negative energy.

Positive psychology is based on completely different principles. Its founder, Martin Saligman, suggested, instead of digging into problems, finding… the psychology of happiness. For many people, happy and sad events go by turns. However, some men are lucky all their life. Perhaps, they have a secret… So he decided to analyze the life of lucky men – what they do and how they react to different situations – to later adopt their habits.

The psychology of happiness was developed by Russian psychologist and author of Reasonable Way Alexander Sviyash. Those interested in popular psychology must also be familiar with Louise Hay, Liz Burbo, Roger Walsh…

Positive psychology is quite simple, easy to understand, and efficient. It gives a person a belief system and tools to cope with difficulties, so he can become his own psychologist-consultant.

All of us are great magicians. However, unaware of our own powers, we sometimes follow the wrong rules, while we can direct our powers and magic anywhere we want.

There are two main problems people apply to magicians with: money and love.

Before introducing you to “practical magic methods,” let me tell you a story about one prince. One day, a girl came to Alexander Sviyash. She was pretty skeptical about his theory but really wanted to get married. “First of all, describe the man you are dreaming of,” Alexander said. So the girl began, “tall, good-looking, rich. He wants to marry me and have kids. I want him to have brown hair, white teeth, and a beautiful smile.” She listed as many as 35 points, caught her breath and added, as it dawned on her, “Make him a prince!” “All right then, writing down – a prince,” the psychologist added one more line calmly.

So the girl started to work. She longed for a prince and she met one. Pretty, dark-haired and with white teeth, he was deeply in love with her. There was one thing the girl was unhappy about. The young man was a prince of a small African country. She should have specified his place of birth and skin color… Anyway, the story has a happy ending. Zimbabwe or Swaziland… it’s not Great Britain or even Monaco. But her African prince was really beautiful. The girl decided it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and they got married.

… Perhaps, you want to ask me, “How did she do it? Tell me! Give me the tools! Maybe it’ll work for me, too!”

Here we go.

STEP 1

Try to understand which thoughts and beliefs prevent you from being happy. For example, “I’m a looser,” “it’s impossible to find a good job in this city,” “I’m too old to get married.” Found any? Rethink!

If you want to meet a good man and get married, it’s not enough to just say, “Now in my life all men…” and add what you want to get. You should think about it all the time, imagine it, enjoy pictures of happy family life. Imagine that what you want to achieve has already been achieved. With your words and thoughts, you give a signal – what relationship you expect and what man you want. After a while, you’ll meet him. Because any result is a reflection of our thoughts.

This technique is very effective. Why? Because somehow we can materialize our thoughts with the help of energy.

Note that your wish can concern only you. You can change YOUR life the way you want, you can create for you the life you have always been dreaming of within a few months. But you can’t drag someone else in it. Unfortunately (in fact, fortunately), we can’t change other people’s life.

STEP 2

You can’t make a person want to be happy using an injection. A man who wants to be happy should take upon himself the responsibility for what’s going on with him.

In fact, it’s kind of nice to be unhappy. You don’t have to be responsible for anything. “The country sucks, the government’s terrible – they don’t do anything! I’ve been working hard all my life but in vain – they don’t like my age, my look. My wife’s a bitch and my kids are monsters…” Those thinking this way are not my clients. They should go to psychics and fortune-tellers – people who they can shift responsibility on to. “The spirit of the emperor, tell me, what should I do?” People are afraid of responsibility. It’s like they’re in court answering for everything they’ve done. In fact, responsibility is good. You just know that what you have in your life is a result of your actions but not a coincidence.

It’s wonderful if you like the result. If not, change your actions.

STEP 3

Let’s get back to LOVE LIFE. It’s cloaked in MYSTICISM. Sometimes even those who consciously make their life – earn good money, make a good career – stick to a stereotype that love life is something accidental. “What if on that rainy day I walked down a different street? What if my shoelace didn’t get untied and I didn’t have to bend? What if he didn’t run into me?” This illusion is maintained by books and movies, and this negative program prevents people from finding happiness in their love life. It programs them for inaction.

Here is another popular opinion, “How can I find a husband when there are younger girls who can’t? And I’m in my forties. There’s no point in trying.” Or a woman looks around and realizes that a lot of her friends divorce their husbands and wives… “Well, it means I’ll have to go through it, too!” Just think about it: can’t you find your soul-mate among seven billion people living on this planet? Sure you can!

Have you ever heard something like, “There’s a celibacy wreath on my family!” or “I’ve been cursed.” When you, afraid of responsibility, go to a psychic, of course he’ll tell you you’ve been cursed. If you look unhappy and you’re a young woman, he’ll mention the celibacy wreath, too.

Another popular misconception is looking for your soul-mate, meaning there is only one person who you can be happy with. “There are people who are lucky to find their soul-mate among seven billion people… what can I say? Good for them. They are lucky indeed,” many think. But it’s another misconception that made many people unhappy.

If you are a self-sufficient personality, you’ll attract a self-sufficient personality, too. Such people can be happy with almost any person.